What Are You Doing With Your Life?

Yes, you.

What are you doing with your life?

Are you living it or are you merely living in it?

Are you living or merely existing?

I recently lost one of the greatest memories of my life, the one that I envisioned and thought will last until my final days. The memory started over 6 years ago, and as it was just about to reach new heights, in an instant, it was gone. A classic historia de traición.

I still vividly remember the last time this memory had a life. I was in the office in total darkness, all the lights were off. The room was lit only by the reflection of the shimmering bright lights of the PETRONAS Twin Towers and neighboring buildings. I did not know it then, but that was when my memory and I were saying our final goodbyes.

I've been meaning to write about the demise of this memory since I decided to cut short the time I spend on my social media platforms and decided to start writing again here in my own personal space.

But between preparing for my case and hustling to put food on the table, writing about it was pushed aside. And when I finally had some free time, the words, somehow, always failed me. I didn't know how or what to write to express such a bittersweet and painful experience. Whenever I started to put words together, it always came from a place of anger, and I didn’t want to write this piece from that space.

But I still wanted to write about this memory.

So, instead of writing about the untimely death of the memory from a dark space, I want to always remember that no matter how special what we think we have, it could all be easily taken away in a blink of an eye.

Life and memories are so very fragile, and we are all vulnerable.

We will all, at some point in our lives, fail and fall.

We will all fail and fall.

And when life and memories are taken away from us, we will be tested; we will be tested to our very core, to the deepest part of our souls.

I have now conceded that the memory is lost forever. I have accepted that it was but a dream, and since the death of the memory prevented me from realizing the dream, then I hope to see it one day, somewhere in the heavens, in dreams…

It is these during these times and during these pains that we should allow ourselves to look inside ourselves and ask what we are doing with our lives. Once we get the most truthful answer, then we can live our lives again.