These Are The Reasons Why...

I get emails and texts from a lot of people, both I personally know and those I don't.

Mostly, they're about the entries that I write in my blog and how they could relate, that they're thinking the same thoughts, that they're of the same opinions, that they agree and disagree, that sometimes they don't get what I'm saying and what not.

I don't get posted mails but y'all know what I mean :-)

On my part, whenever I can, I try to reply. There are those who ask me lots of questions and I try to answer them as honest as I could. And then there are those who ask me me for my thoughts and opinions on certain topics and I have made it clear many times over that I usually don't but of course, there are exceptions.

Anyways, of the emails and texts that I receive recently, there are two - 1 email and 1 text - that I would like to reply to. I personally know the one who texted me so let me answer that one first.

She asked:
"u changed ur small baby's tone? why lah? I think it's a demotion lah, replace 'your song' with a hit dat wud prbably b 4gotten after a few years."

Personally, I don't think so. I mean, yes perhaps you're right about the longevity of 'Just The way You Are' but it never crossed my mind that I was replacing our theme song, y'know?

You know My Small Baby and I'm sure you'll agree that she's amazing the way she is. Moreover, it's not just her smile that makes people 'stops and stare for awhile', it's everything about her.

No one in this world is perfect but My Small Baby is the closest to perfection I know

But if I were to sum it up in one sentence why I chose that song, it is because, while no one is perfect, she's the closest to perfection I know.

Moving on, this is the email I received from presumably someone I don't personally know. She wrote:

I really enjoy reading your blog. You're thoughts are erratic as I like to think mine is. lol I also like the way you write and I'm an Eng Lit major, so I think I know a good written article from a bad one.

I just would like to ask you why do you like the song love the way you lie so much. I am not saying the song ain't great, it is, but don't you think masochism and physical abuse has no part in real love? I'm sure you don't but it's as if you're condoning just that.


P.S. the first time I heard about the song was after reading your blog
First, you are right, I don't condone any physical abuse in a relationship at all. I have zero tolerance for men - or women for that matter - who lifts a hand on their partners.

Having said that, I also agree with you that the song is about an abusive relationship, a physical one and I further agree that the hook part flirts with masochism.

Men who beat their women are not real men but cowards of the lowest level

But I don't take the lyrics literally. I chose to instead take the essence of what the song is all about. I love the song for various reasons but primarily because it's heartfelt. Eminem is merely trying to narrate the kind of relationship she had with her ex wife and again, it needs to be reiterated that I don't condone physical abuse, the truth is, their relationship was one.

Feel me?

And as far as the hook - Rihanna's part - is concerned, you have to go beyond what was written and try to understand what she's trying to say. Different people may differ on the interpretation of that part but personally, I took it that she was very much part of the whole problem.

When she said she 'like the way it hurts', I didn't take it to mean that she's a masochist. To me, what the line meant was that she felt and believed that, in a way, she deserved to be treated that way she was, because she must have been a party to why the man went bersek.

Have you ever done something that hurt someone so much? Don't you think that when that person does something - dumps you, leaves you, cheats on you, etc - to counter what you did, you're also to blame? Don't you think that you very well deserve what the person you hurt did to you in retaliation?

Is it masochism when you think and feel and believe that you deserve whatever you're getting?

Sometimes, we do things to people and by the time we realize how much it hurt them, it's too late to do anything. The most we could do is ask for forgiveness and hope that we would be forgiven. And during the space and/or time between asking for forgiveness and that forgiveness being given, don’t you think that whatever is being done to us, no matter how hurtful it may be, that we in a way deserve it?

That’s how I took the hook of the song to mean.

I don’t know if you have truly hurt someone but I have. And in such circumstances, not only don't I mind going through the pain and hurt, I am even hoping for it. That way, I could have closure, y’know?

But more than closure, I want to go through the pain because I feel and deserve to.

Feel me?


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