When Boredom Strikes Part IX: The Final Entry

At the outset, let me point out that this is gonna be my last entry under this title. I'm done with being bored.

I would like to qualify or forewarn, depending on how you look at this entry, that I am writing this just because I can. And too, this entry will only be up for a week, after which I'm gonna bring it down because it really serves no purpose to be in my blog.

This fictional (not!) story was inspired by the following:

  • My Small Baby and her best friend went away to celebrate the nth anniversary of their friendship;
  • Someone texted a mutual acquaintance – mine and the texter’s - this: “I’m not supposed to be friends with him for what he apparently did but he wrote something that piqued my curiosity. Can you ask him what my friends say about me?”
  • I am bored! Ha!

In a previous entry, and I think that’s the one she was talking about, I ended it with an anecdote I first heard when I was a kid and one that I still think should be one of the basis of friendship and that is, i.e. “Friends don’t bitch. Period!”

Friends Don't Bitch. Period.

Friends fight, we all know that. But if the friendship is strong enough, they would get over it. Now, to me, fighting and bitching are two different things. The former is done directly while the latter is done behind the person concerned’s back.

I need to thread on how to approach this carefully. If I were to just write what I heard about one particular person, then the rest would know that she’s the one who wanted to know. And I can’t have that. I don’t care, to be honest, but let’s just say that I owe her one.

So what I’m gonna do instead is introduce y’all to the cast of a reality show that the Prince of Darkness is planning to pitch to a Korean TV channel and I’m sure since most of you have read or read my blog, you know which character you are.

If ony friends don't change...

Anyways, here goes…

This is the story of a group of friends who have known each other and have been friends for a long time. But behind the strong and decade long friendship lays non-stop slandering, jealousies, nitpicking and hypocritical gossips.

Get to know the stars of the brand new reality show that would surely shock people and let them question their own friendships.

The Smart Chick

She’s the main star of the show and the catalyst of this whole thing. She’s truly a great girl whose biggest folly was either loving her ex-boyfriend unconditionally or betraying the same person she loved without conditions.

The Smart Chick

She’s the most social amongst the lot. She loves to party and is the main source of anything that is fun and happening. She habitually gets in and out of relationships, as in her relationships do not last more than 2 years. The thing is, when she starts getting into one, she really puts everything into it but sooner or later, she gets bored and wants out.

She is also the least racist amongst her friends. As one ex-boyfriend pointed out, she’s a true Malaysian in UMNO fashion, i.e. she’s fucked every race in Malaysia!

Her biggest mistake was believing a cheater over the man who truly loved her

This show revolves around her. She’s the Carrie Bradshaw of the group and it is because of her and her relationship habits that allowed for, and served as, the inspiration behind the reality show.

Her friends think:

1. Sometimes, they don’t understand her attitude towards her relationships – she’s all ‘Oh, I’m in-love with him and he’s the greatest” one day and turn into a cold-hearted bitch when her relationship breaks up.
2. She’s a closet attention seeker and social climber.
3. While they love her in their hearts, there are times when they hate her for always wanting to be at the forefront of everything and always wanting to be seen as having the best boyfriend.

The Best Friend

She is Smart Chick’s best friend. The one person who’s always supportive of her best friend’s choices and decisions, irrespective of whether they’re right or wrong; or whether she agrees or otherwise. She’s like those minions that worship Blair Waldorf.

The Best Friend

On her own, she is the resident drunk in the group. She gets so sloshed that she even forgets whether she fucked someone or not after a night of partying. Now, when you don’t even remember, that’s how fucked you are.

She’s also a habitual dater; she’s had more than 10 boyfriends in, like, 7 or 8 years. Unfortunately for her, she’s always never the first choice by her exes. They tend to like someone else first and when rejected, they always end up with her.

The Best Friend as a grown up

And because of this, she is yet to date someone who tantamount to something in his life. She’s like the poster girl friend for the under-achievers. If you are addicted to drugs or a college dropout whose future is slaving under your father, don’t be disheartened coz there is a girl for you out there.

Her friends think:

1. They think she’s the loser amongst all of them. She can’t be on her own and hence the need to be Smart Chick’s shadow.
2. She settles for any guy who gives her any kind of attention.
3. She is so desperate to get Smart Chick’s approval that she would do anything she wanted her to do

The Holy One

She’s the former best friend of the Smart Chick. She was Smart Chick’s companion to all her club outings till she found Jesus Christ. With her new found salvation, she dumped her old boyfriend, stopped clubbing and eventually hooked up with a youth leader from her church.

The Holy One

But behind the religious setting and perceived divine-intervened happiness lie a very dark and tragic story. The Holy One was being physically abused by the revered boyfriend behind closed doors!

And when she couldn’t take the abuse anymore, she left him but not without him getting all cheap by asking everything he’s given her, including the shirt she had on when they met! LOL

The Holy Hypocrite

Her friends think:

1. She’s a hypocrite.
2. They make fun of her devoutness and calling it her irrational rationale to get her laid
3. They made fun of her and her current boyfriend, again referring to her devoutness to her religion, when they heard that she went out clubbing without anyone of them being invited.

The Atheist-Feminist

She’s the smartest amongst the lot and everyone agrees to that. She’s the ‘best friend’ of everyone without being the best friend. She floats amongst her friends and is the resident happy girl.

The Atheist/Feminist

She’s somewhat flirty and a playette. She’s had relationships with every guy in her group where she is based. They can’t really describe her as a slut because of her happy personality. She also comes from the most prominent family amongst of all them.

Her friends think:

1. She’s fat! LOL
2. They think that she’s just putting on an act vis a vis her feminism; that deeply, she’s just clueless as to what she wants to be in her life
3. Despite her intelligence, she doesn’t stand for anything. Whatever she does is what her parents and her friends want her to do.

The Alien

She’s Smart Chick’s nemesis, in a way. They’ve had fights when they were young and The Alien has always been jealous of Smart Chick in some ways.

The Alien

She’s also the only one who freely discusses sex with Smart Chick as both of them are the ones that are freaks in the bedroom. Her boyfriend even asked her to ask Smart Chick for a ménage à trois and she actually did; that shows you how freaky she can be.

Her friends think:

1. She’s from Planet of the Apes! LOL
2. She’s the dumbest amongst them; intelligent but not up to par with the rest.
3. She’s clingy and desperate for attention.
4. She’s a sex freak

The Attention Ho’

She is the group’s biggest attention whore. She likes the limelight and always tries to find ways to be seen. Unfortunately, she just doesn’t have what it takes.

The Attention Ho'

She is a conflicted personality; religious yet wanton at the same time. Highly sexual, her sex drive is repressed by her parents’ strictness, her devotion to her religion and her boyfriend. She also has lesbian sexual fantasies for Smart Chick; every time she's intoxicated, this desire is manifested.

Her friends think:

1. She’s a bimbo!
2. She’s all boobs and nothing else.
3. If she finds a man who knows how to fuck her, she’ll forget her parents and her religion
4. She’s a closet bi-sexual. But they think she’s having sex on the side and cheating on her boyfriend
5. If there was someone in their group who would masturbate every day, it’s her.

The Racist

She’s, according to some, the prettiest. She’s only beginning to understand and experience her sexuality. She’s the type who has gone through high school and college without having had a boyfriend.

She just recently had her first boyfriend and when that didn’t work, she’s become somewhat of a prowler, always on the lookout for a boy. They think that now that she’s finally tasted a cock, she’s gonna keep on going to sample a lot of cocks! LOL

The Racist

She was against Smart Chick’s ex boyfriend because he’s from a different race but was, at the same time, also secretly jealous, as related to someone who is friends with Smart Chick’s ex, that while her ex boyfriend is a candidate for “I’m-a-virgin-and-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-a-pussy’ award, Smart Chick got someone whom she thought she deserved more.

Her friends think:

1. She’s racist. Duh!
2. She so wants to be like the rest (ironically, little do they know, she thinks they’re sluts)
3. She’s a sex-starved, cock-hungry racist.

You know what? I’m lazy to continue. There are 3 more characters that should be included but since they’re insignificant in a way, I’ma exclude them. Let’s just say they’re recurring guests in this reality show, shall we?

I’ma call them The Professor because of her serious demeanor; The Demure One for her sweetness and innocence and The Believer for her ability to maintain not only a long distance relationship but also the fact that they see each other 1-2 times every 4 years! LOL (That’s an exaggeration but you know get my drift)

What ever happened to the beauty of friendships?

If truth be told, I find no joy in writing this entry but I reckon I owe the texter for what she did to help me. This is not aimed at belittling anyone who feels the pinch. The intention is not to expose y'all but since circumstances do not permit, and I owe it to myself to tell the person concerned what she wanted to know, this is the only way for me to thank her.

Am I having fun with this?


But the again, I'm apathetic.


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