My Small Baby Is Like The Hermit Of The Rocks

My Small Baby is right.

In retrospect, I could have done things differently and I shouldn’t have done some of the things I did.

Has anyone of you read the Ali Khan Sajjad classic "The Sufi: Hermit of the Rocks"? If you have, then let me tell you that My Small Baby thinks like that Sufi in the book!

Before she left to South Africa, My Small Baby and I had a good talk and as always, she’s puts things in proper perspective for me, no matter how complicated they may be.

My Small Baby, the wise one! :-)

We talked about how people I meet along the way always seem to eventually betray my trust and/or take advantage of my kindness and generosity. I know I should have been more choosy with who I hung out with but even though I meet a lot of people, only a handful of them graduate to become my friends.

Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered if the betrayal came from those who were merely acquaintances but it does sting when someone I considered a friend was the one who betrayed my trust. The Gay Boy is a perfect example of this.

We also talked about my relationship with My Li’l Girl and how everything went sour.

My Small Baby is right.

I shouldn’t have done what I did. She chastised me and told me point blank that, being the older one, I should have handled it better. And that I should have known that getting involved in My Li'l Girl's life comes with a lot of repercussions, more so because she's at an age where being stubborn and not listening to anyone is the norm.

Maybe one day in the future. Maybe never.

Right now, I know it is impossible for us to be even civil with one another and even if there are far too many memories shared, the hatred and disappointment we have for each other do not allow us to see ourselves the way we used to and for who we truly are.

My Small Baby is right.

I should have approached the whole thing differently. But there are things that couldn’t be undone and this is one of them.

Maybe one day in the future, when the hatred and bitterness are lost and whatever we shared are nothing but fleeting memories, we’d be able to, at the very least, remember them with a smile.

Or maybe, like how some relationships are meant to be forever, there are also those that are just not meant to be repaired.

Only time will tell.


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