Am I A Transformer?

“They think you transformed me!”


May-May said this to me the night when the Prince of Darkness was in town. She followed that statement with a ‘what-the-fuck-right?’ look and then, gave me the pout.

The WTF and Pout look! :-)

In all fairness, she's always been a cool girl ever since we first met. We worked in the same business albeit at different regions and different levels. She's just a ‘Cali Girl’ through and through. People don’t really get her; they think she’s weird in some ways and there are even those who think she’s a wannabe.

But no, she’s neither. She’s just, as I’ve said, a typical ‘Cali Girl’. Only Jesse F and I understood her and her eccentricities. If you’ve lived long enough anywhere in Cali, you’d find that she’s just like every one of them. They have this slightly bimboish way of talking but they ain’t frontin’, they just speak like that.

My May-May ain't no wannabe; she's just your typical 'Cali Girl'

Anyways, her statement to me that night got me thinking. Am I a transformer?

I don’t know. I don’t think so. Or maybe I am. In a way.

Admittedly, there are people whose transformation, before and after getting to personally know me and be in my company, is as conspicuous as Urfi having no hair.

But believe it or not, it isn’t something that I consciously set out to do, y’know? Yes, I do tell them the etiquette on certain things but the intention is to make them appreciate themselves more, as well as to do things the way they’re meant to be done.

Just to cite a couple of examples. One must never down champagne; it’s not only, etiquette –wise, frowned upon but it also gets you high fast. Similarly, I don’t believe any woman should go to a man when he summons her with his fingers; that’s just degrading and cheap. Only whores in the streets act on such chauvinist gestures.

Never, ever down a bubbly!

So yeah, I do that, ain’t gonna deny it. But I don’t do that to people I don’t know or people I don’t give a fuck about. I only impart whatever knowledge I have to those who mean something to me.

When my ex-colleagues gave me a farewell, there was this lying and cheating bitch that was also in attendance. She had on full length stockings! Now, tell me, who fuckin’ wears full stockings in a club in Malaysia? If you were in a country where there’s winter, then yeah but in Malaysia? And in a club?


Anyways, the point is, while I do know her, she doesn’t mean anything to me and hence, I didn’t say anything to her, even though she attracted the stare and laughter and ridicule of the peeps that there were that night.

Placing things in proper perspective, I guess, in a way, I do help people transform. But the transformation must come from within for it to last. When I’ve said my piece, it depends on that person to whether take my advice or not, and if they do, it is then incumbent upon them to continue to keep on doing it for themselves.

It's a good feeling to know that you played a part in someone's positive transformation

I’ve always said that you can only change people for the better if they want to change. Anything less than that, they’ll go back to what they were. It doesn’t always work out because you can’t really help transform people who are, at their very core, nothing but thrash.

But when you come across someone you helped and whose transformation is evidently permanent, it’s a good feeling, y’know? Like what I witnessed the same night when the Urfman was here.

Someone summoned my little sister with his fingers and even though she knew him, she just ignored him. She then looked at me and said, “I remember what you taught me” and honestly, that made me proud; proud like a father whose child graduated summa cum laude from Princeton University!

And another example of a transformation that I could be proud of is that of My Li’l Girl. When I first met her, she was your typical college girl. She’s pretty but forgettable. But I noticed something that made her stand out to me and that was the swagger that she had. She had this air about her that I found interesting. She had a hold on me right from the start and that’s how we became close.

This is how My Li'l Girl looked during our times. Click on the pic to see how she looked when I first met her

Anyways, in 3 months time, when the gay boy who introduced us was down to attend something, and over dinner, he whispered to me, “God! She’s really changed. She’s like a totally new person with a new found confidence about herself. She doesn’t look like ehhh anymore.” (He said that, I don’t know what that means) He further continued, “I never thought she could look like this; very classy, so poised…”

In a way, the gay boy is true. I mean, it’s obvious for the world to see that she has metamorphosed from someone whom you won’t give a second glance at, to someone who tends to own the room. I don't know now though but there was a time when everyone flocked to her, as if she she was Queen B!

Awesome eh?

As to whether she falls under permanent transformation or a temporary one, I don’t know. And I really don’t wanna know. I just hope she's able to maintain her transformation.

I ain't no Optimus Prime but I try to help :-)

Her transformation, however, was the reason why the G2 peeps thought that I had a part in Cali Girl’s so-called transformation. The truth of the matter is that I don’t. She’s always been like that and it just so happened that they didn’t really pay any attention to her when she was still in G2, maybe because, you know, she was ‘weird’ for their own taste.

As we were about to depart that night, another ex-colleague came to me and said this:

“you know what Ivan? You always, somehow, manage to transform people. And not just physically. In a way, they take it upon themselves to make sure that when they are in your company, they don’t embarrass you. And that’s nice.”

Anyone with narcissistic tendencies, like me, would generally agree. But you know what; I really think it’s more than about me. If truth be told, I think the people around me who transform, whether I played a part or otherwise, do it because of My Small Baby.

It's clear to the world who stands head and shoulders above the rest, no?

I mean, and I’m not just saying this, My Small Baby is the epitome of class, in whichever way you look at it. Forget the fact that she’s gorgeous, we all know that already. She’s the walking definition of what a classy lady is. In the gay boy’s own words when My Small Baby and I were up in Penang a few months back, “Bro, Rach is just so… refined… so… posh... so great!”

No argument there!

And where does My Small Baby fit in these transformations?

Because I know some wanted to be comparable to her while others wanted her acknowledgment  and approval, that’s why.


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