An Open Letter To My Little Girl

I know I hurt you. And I don’t even know where to start apologizing but right now, I want you to know that I will do anything and everything to atone for what I have put you through.

In life, we don’t win all the time. But there are things we lose that warrants us to want to win them back. In my case, you’re one of them; in fact, you’re the only one I’ve lost that I want to win back.

To lose you the way I did, and for the reasons that I did, is something I can’t and am not ready to concede. If I lost you because you stopped loving me, then perhaps I could let go. If I lost you because you’ve lost the respect and admiration for me as a man, I could move on. If I lost you because you don’t see the man you fell in-love with anymore, I could look back at the memories with a smile.

But none of these are the reasons why I lost you. And we both know that.

And I’m sorry but I just can’t allow the love of my life, the very reason why I'm alive again to just walk out of my life without allowing myself to fight to win it back.

Wouldn’t you do the same?

How many times did you fight for me? How many times did you not give up on me even when everything was working against you? How many times?

There are no two ways about it, I needed to fight and try to win you back, the same way you fought for me. I was advised and warned that you have the tendency to be cold hearted and brutal after a break-up but none of your previous relationships felt the love that you gave me, the love you only gave me.

We’ve worked so hard to be where we are. Do you remember the amount of distractions and obstacles thrown our way? Do you remember how many people tried to come between us, not wanting us to succeed? Do you remember the sleepless nights we had to go through because of the gossip mongering by those who couldn’t stand that we were so happy? Do you remember, love?

We’ve come a long way from the daily arguments, fights and misunderstandings for me to just allow a beautiful relationship to just end without giving it my all. We’ve fought so hard against the detractors in the past, and while I am not asking you to fight with me this time, at the very least, please let me continue to fight for both of us; to fight for someone whom I know I love, like a lot, a lot.

I also know that deep within you, you know that I love you very much and that you have never loved anyone like you do me. I know you are hurting but only because you know you still love me. I don’t take pride in knowing that I hurt you nor does it put a smile to my face to know that I made a mistake.

But I'm only a human; one that made mistakes. I am not trying to absolve myself from the mistakes that I did, instead I am embracing them to ensure that I won’t ever repeat it again. And that is what I can promise you, similar to the promise I made in the beginning of our relationship that I will be fair to you and will love you without holding back. And like that promise, I intend to fulfill this one too.

All I need is a chance; just one chance to show you how great we can be together again.


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