Deleting Undeserving Friends

It sounds like a hard task no?

Actually, it’s easy but you need to be resolute in phasing out people who don’t do anything that adds positivity to your life. You can’t be sentimental about such things.

You may have experienced and enjoyed good times together once upon a time but when these very people betrayed your trust and continue to haunt your existence, to a point where you can’t freely enjoy your current life, it’s time to take drastic measures and be strong in deleting them off your life.

We all have different definitions of friends. Some of us take it more seriously while others take it rather complacently. Personally, I only have a handful of people around me whom I consider to be friends and they are those, I know for a fact, who would be there for me when I need help. On the other hand, I know a lot of people; people I go out with, party with, play ball with, etc. But of the thousands, I could only count a handful that I consider as friends.

Do you know who your real friends are?

My Small Baby is similar in some way. She maintains close relationships with people whom she has known for ages and who, time and again, have always been there for her at times when she needed a support system to go through difficult times of her life.

How many of y’all have friends who have turned around and betrayed you?

I know someone who has a very loose definition of what friends mean. She considers everyone and I mean everyone whom she has met to be her friends. They could be 3rd degree friends, ex-boyfriends’ friends, 3rd degree friends of ex and current boyfriends; you know what I mean right?

The sad thing is, she is continuously being betrayed by the people whom she regards and believes to be her friends. She has been accused of many things, including being a bf and/or admirer-stealer! The thing is, it’s not even her fault for attracting those who are attracted to and/or are dating her friends but the fact remains, she is perceived to be the catalyst of all the dramas that go around in her friends’ lives.

Some friends are opportunists; why are you still with them?

I really think she has to change. She needs to be able to know who her real friends are and who are not. As it is, she’s living life cautiously, afraid and a little paranoid of the people around her.

I say, don’t be afraid and paranoid but have a stand and be strong with that decision. She can’t go on living her life afraid that the people she hangs out with will one day betray her. She has to find within herself the courage to not be sentimental about her past and erase those who are associated with it. There are certain aspects of her past that she needs to hold on to such as her circle of friends whom she knows would always be there for her but nothing more. People she met along the way who are now insignificant in her current life should and must go. And that’s that!

She reminds me so much of My Small Baby’s friend. Whenever he is in a relationship, he ceased to exist in this world, revolving instead his life on his partner’s. But time and again, he always ends up being hurt because, while he has stopped any form of communications with his friends from the past, he hasn’t deleted them off. Failing to completely erase these people from his life somehow catches up with him and for various reasons, it a;ways eats up into his current relationship and thus, making it difficult to move forward.

Why would you allow yourself to be a prisoner of your past?

And like this girl I know, her past is catching up with her and is endangering her current relationship because it is the boyfriend who is getting all these unwanted attention and gossips.

He does love her, a lot actually, but the unnecessary and unsolicited stories he has been getting and hearing lately is just too much to take. He does trust her and feel that she’s getting the wrong end of the bargain and being made to pay for one mistake she did in her past life. But on the other hand, what disappoints him the most is that albeit at face value she has deleted the ex off her life, she continues to be friends with and continues to entertain people she met through this ex, who is the very main reason for all her troubles. Why does she indeed do that eh? Because she thinks that these people are her real friends! Ha!

Recently, her current bf visited her and she introduced him to a friend of hers. The said friend is someone she knew through her ex and whom she remained to be closed with years down the road. Something happened while he was there and he made it known that he ain’t no pushover.

And when this friend of hers realized that her current bf is not like any other friend they know, who are all either scared or intimidated by the ex and his bunch of loser friends, the friend devised a plan to get her rattled up so that she could tell her current bf, hoping that he would do something about it and further teach the loser ex and his bunch of loser friends a lesson or two. And if he does just that, embarrassing the ex and his friends, she’ll get her revenge for what the loser ex did to her.

Walk away

See the diabolic manipulation? What’s worse is that this girl doesn’t even have an inkling as to what the real motives of her friend are! The thing is, the current bf somehow knew about this and couldn’t help but feel cheated; can’t say I blame him though. All he wanted was to make sure his girlfriend is not bothered anymore but he could only do so much; if his girlfriend continues to allow herself to be used and abused by the people around her, what could he do? Talk to her? He tried that already but she somehow refuses to listen and this is what frustrates the bf the most.

This is the second time he's been betrayed by the people close to his girlfriend and all he did was be kind enough to help them. I can’t blame the dude really, his girlfriend needs to stop being too trusting and recognize who her true friends are. If not, I’m sure that the guy will give up because he doesn’t need this shit in his life.

I think I have gone a bit off tangent from what I intended in this entry. Anyways, my point is, and just to reiterate once again, we have to find the inner strength to delete friends who are not truthful with us. I understand that it’s hard to do, especially when we have known such friends for a long time and have shared many a good times together but unless and until we can let go off them, we are bound to lose the current and future people in our lives.

Forget undeserving friends from your past

And deleting people from our past needs to be drastically done. There is no such thing as not contacting them anymore, stop going out with them or the likes. You need to be free of such people and start by burning everything – literally and metamorphically – things and memories you have of them. Get them off your phone list, your MSN or whatever it is you use to chat, your Facebook account, your everything. For only through a total phase out could one truly enjoy their current as well as future lives.

The deleting of undeserving friends start now. Don't wait a minute more and just get on it. It's better to lose these kinds of friends tham someone you love no?

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