Going to 'Jail'

The management decided that the time has come to send the management team away to i. get to know one another further and ii. strategically map out the future of the organization.


Fine. It's common for such retreat to be organized, specially amongst huge ass companies. I have had my fair share of retreats in the past and frankly, this is something that I am not really into.


How many of us share the same passion and hobbies?

I am not into 'getting to know' my colleagues outside the place of work. Why? More often than not, none of them share the same interests that I have. And when the people you're supposed to get to know are members of the management team, I can be sure that NONE of them are into the stuff than I am into.

Honestly, how many of these people are into hip-hop and basketball and most important of all, Air Jordan's? Unless I work for Nike and/or Jordan Brand or Companies who own Hip-Hop Brands, I am positive that members of any management team in any organization do not have the same interests that I have.


Will I find the true colors of my colleagues? hehe

Secondly, and specifically to the organization that I am attached with now, don't we already know what we are supposed to deliver? I mean, aren't we all hand-picked by the CEO and Khazanah? Here you have the so-called 'best in their industries' put into one organization and you're telling me that we need to sit together and strategically map out our future?

Bullshit! I don't buy the idea that we have to play housemates in one 5-star hotel to do this. I mean, c'mon now, isn't this a bit too mushy? As it is, in normal day to day work, you'll find egos always clashing; what more when you are forced to be in one place for a specific time frame...

And how many of my colleagues will be exposed as those bitch and whine like women?

I reall think this is a disaster waiting to happen! I can already imagine how the sessions are going to be like. *shakes head* I'm sure there'll be people asking why my department gets to spend millions freely while their budget are scrutinized to the last cent. I am sure that there'll be murmurs along the corridors of the hotel as to why I am part of the management team. As it is, info about my package has leaked and I'm sure this piece of 'hot' info would be spread.

But, surprisingly, I really understand! LOL Seriously, unlike the normal politics I am accustomed to, this is one is unexpectedly easy to deal with and downright laughable. I mean, here's a bunch of 'highflyers' of their respective fields who think that each of them are the highest paid staff. Put in their titles of Vice-Presidents and their confidence is taken up a notch.

And how many of them will be like the dickriding Dwight?

The funny thing though is that most of them rely on their agencies to do their work for them. For example, our Process Management Office are responsible for writing the policies of investment procedures, among others.

However, the whole team actually do not do it themselves, they commission the likes of Ernst & Young to do this for them. Granted that I am working with InterBrand on my Brand architecture and positioning but the difference between what we are currently doing is that, while InterBrand has to work within the ground rules that we have set - objectives, expectations, deliverables and what not - they on the other hand are pressed to admit what E&Y is presenting.

So, during implementation, our policies are written by an external party who are experts in such matters while our Brand guidelines are research and finetuned by our chosen agency with our approval. See the difference? Moreover, when I start building and communicating my brands to the business world, it will be my strategy and my choice of marketing communication tools.

Anyways, the reality is that, of all the different departments within the organization, the Branding department has the biggest working budget! :) Cliche as it may sound and as unacceptable to the ignoramus bunch, Branding is not something that is done overnight. It takes years and years of continuous building for a Brand to fully reach its potential.

And as I prepare to check in myself to prison starting Friday, I can only smile and I can't wait to see the other inmates and how they behave in such situation.

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