"Dude, you're so Melayu lah"...

One of my closest friends told this to my face!

I was at a friend's open-house recently and after your normal 'wishes and makan-makan', a bunch of us sat down and just talked and reminisced about the good and bad times we've had through the years... And more often than not, when you bring in together a bunch of guys - who have nothing really important to talk about - the subject of women would always certainly be discussed.

As most of us are attached - either married or in a serious relationship - we can't really talk about ex-girlfriends, mainly so as not to piss our current better-halves. Y'all know how it is with current and ex girlfriends; it's just plain taboo to talk about the ex's when the current is somewhere within an ear shot hehehe

In the course of our conversation, a friend asked if anyone of us still have 'crushes' on other women and hastily added, "boleh lagi tak, y'know at our age?" His questions initially brought uncontrollable laughter amongst us but it quickly faded and replaced with the 'hmmm' look. And before you could finish saying 'selamat hari-raya', everyone wanted to share and discuss who their respective 'crushes are!' *smile*

When guys get together, the subject of women would always come into topic; and when women are discussed, the specifics of the female human anatomy would certainly be the first to be described in detail! LOL Sexist as it may sound, this is the truth, no?

Anyways, we narrowed it down to local crushes and the most mentioned name was Maya Karin; some even openly described each and every delicate and sensuous part of her body and what they would do to them LOL... But these are just 'talk-cock' kind of fantasies and I was certain none of those present would actually dump their girlfriends or wives to actively pursue her...

When it was my turn to name my crush(s), I was taken aback for it never really crossed my mind. I mean, of course, there are women - celebrities or otherwise - that I find attractive but it was just that, they were attractive...

Anyways, when pressed for an answer, I just blurted the names or descriptions (if I didn't know her name) of those I actually have crushes on. The first one to come out of my mouth was Hannah Tan, then in quick succession, it was that 'Ponds' girl', whose name - I was later told by one of the guys - is Melissa Maureen; then the one whose picture can be seen on the 'GLAM' mini-billboard ad (I seriously don't know what GLAM is but I always thought it was a women's magazine) located under the MRT railing, starting along the cross-junction between the roads leading to Kg Baru and Jalan Sultan Ismail (somehow or rather, this location doesn't seem to make sense, right?)

My friends automatically found the common denominator among them: they all have slanted eyes and cute demeanors! I am so damn transparent... But then again, these are guys I have known for at least 8-10 years now, and I'm sure by now, they know the kind of woman that I dig. I am all about cute demeanors and slanted eyes, and not very much into your bootylicious type of women. Don't get me wrong, I am an ass-man myself but between having the perfect body versus the cute demeanor-type, I would always most certainly go with the latter. And it's a real bonus if they have 'Chinese' eyes :)

A lot of the guys I know think Hannah Tan is 'hot' but honestly, to me at least, it's the way she naturally is that I find captivating. Her facial movements - the way she smirk, the way she bats her eye-lashes, the way she shrugs, and other pertinent actions - is the reason why I have a crush on her. The 'Ponds' girl basically has the same characteristics and demeanors as that of Hannah Tan. The third, the GLAM chick, conveys the same thing.

The thing is, I don't really know them personally. Oh, I must have seen or even have been introduced to them at one point but I never really put too much thought on it. It's not as if I concentrated solely on them when I see or when I am introduced to them but I have this uncanny ability to make the right assumptions even after just one brief introduction. I guess it has something to do with being a true 'Taurean'... *smirk*

But the whole "you're so Melayu" banter started immediately after I mentioned that my 'ultimate crush' in Malaysia is Linda Onn! Hahahaha... Honestly, I don't know why she's my 'ultimate crush'; I don't know her personally as well but when you drive around town, you can't help but see her face on those 'Roots, tongkat ali' billboards LOL

I don't know man but besides the slanted eyes, whenever I see her face, it somehow gives me the feeling that she's a very smart woman and someone who is very calm and possesses cute demeanors! Hahahaha I could be wrong though! LOL

My friends then continued with their 'so Melayu' banters to a point where everyone who were there now knows that Linda Onn is my ultimate crush! Hahaha But it's all good though coz even my 'small baby' joined the bantering and commented that she herself doesn't really know why I have such a crush on Linda Onn! She knows I have this major crush on Linda Onn but it still baffles her why...

Well, if I myself can't exactly pinpoint why she is my ultimate crush, it is only perfectly understandable why such confession truly baffles the poeple who are closest to me... I mean, they know me the most - how I live, what my standards are, what I am accustomed to, etc., so for them to learn that my ultimate crush is someone who is adored primarily by the rural folks comes as a total surprise! *smile*

Hmmm... Did it ever occur to anyone, including myself, that despite my foreign upbringing and foreign education, that perhaps, I am a 'kampung boy' at heart?

Or that maybe, maybe because I was brought up in New York City and travelled all over the world as a kid, that I inherently am desperate to have a place I can call my own 'kampung' and be a kampung boy in the process?

Ahhh, such is the beauty of life! Even with the most useless and senseless of topics, one can find a thing or two to ponder upon...


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